This is beautiful.
—First Step brochure
Survivors of childhood sexual abuse, rape, or sexual assault often have to see their abusers after their attacks. Sexual violence is frequently committed by people we know—within our family, school, work, church, or any other community environment. However we know our abusers, we cannot always avoid interacting with them.
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1. Shock and Protest: disbelief, denial, anger, guilt numbness, yearning
crying, searching for why, somatic symptoms (weight loss, muscle weakness, changes in appetite, tightness in chest), preoccupation with thoughts of deceased or loss
2. Disorganization and Intense Grief: despair, apathy, depression, social isolation, self-doubt, loneliness, meaninglessness
restlessness, decreased memory and concentration, decreased interest in activity apart from grieving, low energy
3. Reorganization: renewed hope and optimism, accomadation of loss
regained energy, renewed interest in life, new goals for future, increase in self-confidence
—Louise S. Wilson
Rape is not about sex — it is an act of power over another human being, a selfish act of stealing a person’s choice and dignity. — The Tyee (via opendaylight)
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1. You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts, emotions, and to take responsibility for consequences.
2. You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for your behavior or feelings.
3. You have the right to change your mind.
4. You have the right to say “I don’t know”
5. You have to right to identify and accomplish your goals without explanation.
6. You have the right not to worry about whether you will be liked for what you say.
7. You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
8. You have the right to fail.
9. You have the right to say “I don’t understand”
10. You have the right to say “I care” or “I don’t care”
11. You have the right to say “NO”
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are commiting a crime- no matter how “into it” others appear to be.